Deadly. Like Vanilla Ice, or a rusted tin can.
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The Last Kiss
Strange. This happened in my town last year, and I never ever heard about it until now. It's doubly strange because I remember reading quite a bit of Susan Musgrave when I was in junior high. I was particularly enamored of her strawberry poems.

Yay, Vice.

It's true what she says about the lawn-watering and insane garden-gnome robbers.

What would summer be without a he-boobie update
This honestly made me laugh so hard my drink came out of my nose. Oh, god. Now my snot is carbonated.

The rest of the comics on the site are really worth checking out as well. I just particularly enjoyed the he-boobies. And the true stories.

rubberburner.com

I am Curry. A slim and handsome race car driver. Here are some FAST and BASIC facts about me!!!

Oh, boy. This is really funny.

Yes, I am a race car driver, but I am also a clean, sexy, and stylish guy.

See for yourself. I know that I'd give anything for a chance to run my fingers through those luxuriant Farrah-wings!

World Wall
Lovely desktop graphics can be found here, especially photos of faraway places. Eye-candy for those of us who watch lonely planet for fun.

Turntables
Yeah! I get to play, without having to deal with any financial outlay. I mean, I don't even have one working turntable. I like the old-school one better, even though it is simpler. I couldn't get the beat-boxing lamer to shut up in the new-school one. Just be forewarned: once he starts, nothing short of death will stop the beatboxing.

Colors
Very interesting and sexxxxsay. You'll need realplayer.

Hummer: The evil fortune cookie
I find this really funny. A couple of the fortunes I got:

when you fall asleep, you will fall in love with your own dog after sex!

if you touch your naughty bits, you will find your soul while screaming algebra equations!

after plowing through a group of schoolchildren in your suv, a plastic bag full of tadpoles will accidently slip in hawaii!

Bizarre Stories from New Scientist
Drug-sniffing gerbils? This stuff is funny because it's true.

The Book of Sick
Check out the comics; they get you laughing in self-defense.

The Stinkymeat Project
This is why I don't eat the stuff, man. Gross, gross, gross, but also funny as hell. I think it's hilarious how the hot dogs don't rot at all.
The daily chronicle of the project can be found here.

MANOWA-A-A-AR!
Oh god, this page just makes me giggle like a schoolgirl. Let me make it known right now that if anyone ever bought me Manowar panties, I would just have to marry them on the spot. Or better yet, if they made a tiny size of the full-color "Hell on Wheels" shirts that say "Born to drink, rock, and fuck." Or the one with "Kings of Metal" emblazoned on the front. So hard to choose.

Safe Sex Plus - the internet never felt so good
"Cyberdildonics"???? That's possibly the best and funniest pseudo-scientific advertising coinage that I have ever heard. Cyberdildonics. Cyberdildonics. Say it with me.

As for the concept of it, it sounds pretty ridiculous.

Japanese Engrish
Various misuses of English abroad, mostly in Japanese packaging and advertising. For some reason, I find this kind of thing rather endearing, as well as hilarious.

Attention Zine Writers: Do You Know Who's Reading Your Zines?
Whoa, this is creepy. It seems even moreso considering the utter sneakiness and effort it would require. PO boxes, everyone.

The Underground Origami Page
This is just so ridiculous that you have to laugh.

Bad Candy
Yes, continue the fight! Reading this page brought me back to the first and only time I ever ate a piece of candy that my grandma gave me. Plums aren't meant to be salty. Word.

The Third Nipple Care Page
"Although we adhere to the naming practice within this site, it is unfortunate that an extra nipple has been so carelessly dubbed a "third" nipple. This implies that the nipple is unwanted or somehow less than the other two nipples."

Neighbor-Sex
This is funny, even though I wonder at the amount of effort it takes into chronicling the details.

Study Reveals: Babies are Stupid
Well, they are.

I Never Thought It Would Happen to Me... Confessions of a Penthouse Proofreader
"If a woman wanted to service multiple partners while her husband caught the whole thing on camcorder, fine, but I found scenarios like that -- not to mention the veritable tidal wave of bodily fluids in every issue -- off-putting in the beginning. The shock wore off pretty quickly, though, because beneath the crude thrusting and moaning in the average Penthouse letter beats a heart of the most patent absurdity. . . . I can attest that the letters come from actual people, but the editors mark them up heavily, which results in accounts of sex that nobody on Earth has ever really had."

I think that this article is amusing, especially if anyone has ever wandered through the Forum section or read porn stories in general.

There's No Place to Hide
This is from the ScienceNet site as well. That settles it; it just plain rocks. I wish I could try this. It sounds like so much fun!

Science Line
"One call to Science Line will put you straight through to a panel of scientists who will either answer your question directly or ring you back after further research. If there is no definitive answer, they will help you to find the information you need to make up your own mind.
The service is absolutely free. Lines are open Monday to Friday 1pm to 7pm."

That's just the coolest thing ever.

Totally Absurd Patents & Inventions
Funny inventions that people have patented. My favorite ones are this, this, and this.

Marketing Research for Panhandlers
"We're asking you, the PASSERBY, to vote on these panhandlers. Rate their efficiency, appeal, neediness, and tragic nobility. Keep in mind whether you feel the panhandler in question appears to DESERVE your spare change."

Stop Clown Porn Now!
"Haven't the clowns suffered enough? They make their work out of self-humiliation, but should they be forced to go this far? We at www.StopClownPornNow.org, and our militant affiliates at the Stop Clown Porn Brigade, think not."

Yes! We are faeries!
This is hilarious. I think it's funny to have wings and pretend to be crazy. Or is she pretending?

Redhots Virtual Tour
Hey, they give you a tour of how they make Redhots. I am on a quest for knowledge and candy.

EYE Archives: Pentti Linkola
I like VEHMT, but Pentti Linkola scares the living shit out of me. He is so goddamn Eurocentric. In all practical terms, he would like everyone but a select few educated, middle class white people like himself to die. Does that sound familiar to anyone?

Who does he think did the lion's share of planet-wrecking in the first place?

Plush Sex Mini-FAQ
I heard a story about someone's brother being into this, but I honestly didn't think that it would be common enough to warrant a FAQ. That's the thing about the internet. You can find people of, uh, similar interests - whatever those may be.
I personally think this is hilarious, in a creepy sort of way.
Oh my god. This guy is turned on by Chewbacca.

Measuring Implicit Attitudes
This is really interesting. These tests supposedly measure implicit attitudes about gender, race, age, etc. Interesting, and perhaps a little disheartening?

On the Night of Mr. Melvin's Murder
Wow. This is great.

Thieves take Ferris Wheel in daylight

Neon Genesis Evangelion
A very nice Evangelion site. Watch out for the spoilers. The information is quite complete. I wish I had the money to buy the entire series, so I could watch it whenever I want.

Diesel Sweeties
Go through them all; there aren't many. Indy-rock Pete reminds me of half the guys I know.

Explodingdog
This guy draws pictures to go with titles that are sent to him.

Noir Alley
I like this page's style. I also really like this and this.

Win a shower with Jesus!
"Young women interested in sharing a shower with Jesus can now have their dream come true. Not only will you make a new friend, but you will be supporting good hygiene and benefiting the environment by conserving water."

Jinsom
Quirky poetry with little illustrations to match. Fun!

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